leo dicaprio

leo dicaprio kept trying to trim my trees. i repeatedly told him that i'd just had them done and anyway, it was too late now even if i hadn't as spring was here and the trees were no longer dormant. he kept smiling and saying, 'look, i just got this new chainsaw! it works so great and it's so shiny! i just did my whole yard and i feel like i could go on forever... c'mon, let me help you.' i looked over at his yard and saw all the budded branches laying forlornly on the ground and his sad, naked trees looking injured and vulnerable. 'yeah, no.' i said. he then switched tactics and tried to invite me over for lunch, but i knew he would try and sneak out and trim my trees while we were eating. i waved him off and even as i walked back into my house i could hear him say, 'c'mon! it will look so good! please let me do it!'