Friday, March 14, 2014

over it... tomorrow


i was sick of everybody's shit. i didn't understand why i was standing on the sound stage again when i'd decided the night before to simply leave. was i here to get my stuff? i kept wondering how did i let myself even walk back in the bay doors. the actresses were snotty and impatient, the producers were unappreciative and didactic and not one of them could actually see what i was bringing to the table. even though there was a mountain of money in the budget, the whole production felt like a third rate disaster and i was angry that i hadn't seen any clues beforehand that i would be in a situation where i wasn't valued. as i turned on my heel toward the door, one of the women in the department grabbed my sleeve and pleaded with me, 'please...oh god please stay. i can't do this alone!' 'no,' i said, 'i'm leaving.'. she answered me with an open-mouth expression that was so utterly lost and desperate that i (in spite of my resistance...) could not help but soften and see myself standing in her shoes. i allowed myself be led back in.

1 Comments:

At March 15, 2014 at 9:30 AM , Blogger Greenpa said...

yep. Been there. It's painful; but I don't allow myself to be led back in anymore. If you're the only one keeping the outfit together- it's just not worth it; better for everyone to move on.

 

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